How are you listening?
Monday April 21, 2024 broke our hearts. Words cannot capture the waves of sadness, confusion, anger and other feelings we are wading through. The horrific tragedy that took place at Wiley Elementary School on that day shook us all and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.
Why did this happen?!
How do we move forward?
Do we want to move forward?
How do we talk about this?
Do we talk about this?
How do we come alongside the students, faculty, family and others directly or indirectly impacted?
Do we even want to?
Where do we go for help?
Do we want help?
These are just some of the questions many of us have begun to ask. And, if we are being honest, the answers aren’t as simple as we want them to be. Neither is where to begin.
We all have thoughts, feelings and opinions regarding what happened that day, and what should happen as a result – and some of us have no problem sharing them with whomever is within earshot!
I can't tell you how many people I've already heard trying to turn this tragic event into a political gun debate, a mental illness argument, a discussion on justice system failure, and the like.
Yes, these topics are VERY important and need to be addressed, however, none of it matters unless we find a way to come alongside and connect with each other, regardless of our current state.
Otherwise, NO ONE LISTENS!
Think about it. The old saying often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” is absolutely true, especially when a crisis hits.
So how can we let others know we care?
We do what Job’s friends did before they opened their mouths and started blurting out their opinions – we show empathy!
In the Book of Job found in the Bible, there was a righteous man named Job who lost everything. His wealth, possessions, home, children and health – all gone in an instant! The only thing he had left was his angry and hurt (justifiably so) wife who told him to curse God and die.
When Job’s friends “saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”
– Job 2:12-13
For an entire week Job’s friends came alongside Job and let him know he was not alone! They were with him! They cried with him, sat with him AND kept their opinions to themselves!
These were Job’s friends at their best! And if we want to be at our best for each other when tragedy hits, we need to do the same!
Dr. Kenneth Haugk, renowned psychologist and founder of Stephen Ministry, defines empathy in the following way:
“Empathy is looking at the world from someone else’s perspective to experience what that person is feeling – and then expressing your understanding of those feelings to that person.” – The Gift of Empathy
Is there a better way to show we care than to humble ourselves, set aside our feelings and opinions, step into their shoes, and assure them we are with them?!
How different would our world be if this became our default response when others were hurting?
How much easier would it be to have difficult conversations down the road if others knew we understood and cared?!
We can’t change what happened at Wiley Elementary on Monday April 21, 2024. However, we can change how we move forward. And if we chose to begin with empathy, we have a greater chance to heal and actually make a difference that matters and lasts!
My hope and prayer for myself and our Hillspring community is for us to be known more and more for our empathy in the midst of brokenness. That we would be known as a people who genuinely care.
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Justin
PS – For those of you who would like to talk/pray with someone and/or are interested in learning more about empathy and how to express it in healthy ways that make a difference, please email us.